Thursday, December 24, 2009

Twas the Day Before the Night Before the Day Before We Can Play With the Wii

The gifts are wrapped: under the tree if the recipient is me or devoted partner, under the tv stand table if the recipient is a member of devoted partner's family, and, blissfully, already distributed if the gift was for a member of my family. There is only one more gift arriving today that it is my responsibility to wrap. I therefore, hereby close this shopping season!

Now about that Wii...

We know a Wii is coming - so much so that I instructed my brother to feel free to buy Wii games for devoted partner. I estimate that the Wii will be unwrapped at approximately 10am tomorrow, but we will not be able to use it for many many festive hours. The problem becomes making sure that our small personal gift exchange celebration of the evening does not become co-opted by Wii-time. And let it not be implied that one of our party would be more guilty than the other; considering the Wii is devoted partner's gift, I know he gets first dibs on playing it (and the sooner he gets to play with it the sooner I get to play with it...). But our tree looks so happy with all the wrapped shit underneath it, that I would like to savor the moment of opening, commenting, oohing and ahhing, staring meaningfully at one another, before we need to collect coins and step on birds with turtle shells to kill them once and for all, all the while hoping the trajectory of their shells might go on to harm other turtle birds.

That being said, please, if you have our telephone number, do not call this holiday weekend. We will be locked in our house playing Wii. This goes doubly for family members who would not be content sitting quietly on the couch and watching us play Wii. I have a magical vision of my future Christmas sloth and it is beautiful (ok, in reality, it's making me wish I owned a garment that fell in between comfy pants/dirty t-shirt and full-on dita von teese vampwear - perhaps next year I should invest in some nice menswear-style pyjamas) - furthermore, the house is pretty much out of edible, non-frozen food, which means that if the Wii keeps us suitably entertained, we could lose all the holiday weight in one weekend simply by not eating.

Xmas lights - woot
Originally uploaded by reallyct
I guess what I'm trying to say is, Merry Christmas. Whether you're just like me and consider this an awesome secular holiday where people are generally nice to complete strangers and smile at them and make donations to charity and stimulate the economy and decorate their houses in a baffling array of ridiculousness, or you're one of the many people who believes we are celebrating the birth of the son of god into his mortal coil complete with virgin births and wise men and myrrh, may the next four days of your life be only as drunk as you need them to be to have a good time. No, that's not festive enough: may the next four days of your life be relaxing whether with family, friends, or on a vision quest. You know where to find me, I'll be with the Wii.

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