Becoming Part of the Problem

It's a slippery slope, and I fell hard.

It wasn't until I heard my voice and realized I wanted to modulate that I realized I had asked for sister-in-law's phone, had dialed brother's number, and was speaking to him. While on the train.

I can give you a sackful of rationalization, like I didn't anticipate running into sister-in-law and her beau, and that since they were spending the day in Manhattan it seemed a perfect idea to send them to eat at brother's restaurant, and since I was getting off the train at 125th and they at Grand Central, there wouldn't have been a moment to call on their behalf when we weren't on the train. But none of that makes up for the fact that I used a cellular telephone on the Metro North this morning.

And it was easy. I wanted to do something at that time and I didn't think about the consequences, as I'm sure most of my fellow passengers do every day. I'll only waste a small amount of breath when telling you that the call was short and I didn't scream into the receiver, but I know that hardly matters.

So I will do penance and cherubically ignore everyone else's conversations for the rest of the holiday season. I will not excoriate them here, nor will I secretly wish them ill. I will magnanimously assume that, like me, they inadvertently behaved in a manner that is rude, and that humans err - even those as prone to perfection as moi.

I cannot promise that this peace on earth and good will towards blah blah blah will last indefinitely - after all, the holidays are stressful - but I will be practicing my serenity until 2010.