Family Guy May Well Have Ruined Star Wars For Me

Star Wars (the original, actual Star Wars) was on television last night, and since there was nothing else on, I watched intermittently. And great sadness filled my heart.

I have been quite vocal on my opinion of George Lucas and his inspiration-less greed (I believe my exact words on exiting the first Lord of the Rings was, "I hope George Lucas sees this and kills himself" in reference to how craptacular his cgi was in comparison), but I have maintained, with a manic fervency that the three original Star Wars movies shall never have an equal.

However, I deeply enjoyed, and repeatedly watched, the Family Guy sendups and I might be changing my tune. Obviously Seth MacFarlane is as big a fan as I am, and he somehow edited out all the boring parts, amped up the stuff we all find so funny about the movies, and created a work that rivals the original and takes less time to watch. As I was watching Star Wars, my mind kept wandering to Blue Harvest, remembering how funny such and such a scene was in the cartoon. I don't know how much of this is due to the deep and overwhelming ire I feel towards Mr. Lucas and the three new movies he made (to put this in perspective, I would rather watch the Matrix trilogy than the second Star Wars trilogy and, as we all know, Matrices 2 and 3 are unwatchable), and how much is real, I only know that I am currently more entertained by Family Guy Star Wars than actual Star Wars.

Sadly, this means I will be forever waiting for Family Guy to do, well, pretty much every other iconic film ever made. Family Guy The Godfather, Family Guy Lawrence of Arabia, Family Guy The Towering Inferno (ok, so I'm the only one who finds The Towering Inferno an iconic film, I can live with that), and this makes me wonder if I have been infected with the short attention span of the internet generation. I damned Audible, repeatedly, for having the cojones to sell abridged books, believing that abridged books exist for abridged humans, but what does it say about me that I prefer the 50 minute animated Star Wars?

Given, my affection for media, this will haunt me, at least until I'm distrac-

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