Shopping (Could Be) Fun

So when you are chaperoning Europeans these days, all they want is to humiliate your weak currency by buying things and telling you what a steal they are. Even though the Euro has slipped slightly against the dollar, we are still the current losers in this battle, and never is this more apparent than when your friends giggle at how cheap things are in comparison to their home countries. As such, we've been doing a fair bit of shopping - though in all honesty, most of it has been window shopping. As someone who has recently been confining herself to online shopping (I know - in addition to not being able to braid my own hair or put on eyeliner I also didn't get the shopping gene) so I can't really remember the last time I actually went shopping, like as an activity.

Here's what I have learned from the past two afternoons.

1. Shoe sales are neither all that great a discount nor all that great a shopping experience. It's very Lord of the Flies right now at both Sak's and Bergdorf's, with piles of seriously expensive shoes being tossed around like flip flops while elbows are thrown. No thank you. I don't like paying full price either, but I might confine myself to the quieter end-of-season sales at the individual boutiques where it's less like a rugby scrum (however, should any of you see this shoe in a size 41 for $250 or less, please buy it immediately and I will reimburse).

2. If you are a size above 8, you should not shop below 14th street. There are some really really really cute things and they are for really really really small people. I am not going to make a bitchy fat-ass-positive rant here because, let's face it: hip, young, shops-below-14th-street people are really never going to buy clothing in greater than a size 8 so it makes no financial sense for the designers to make them.

3. HOWEVER, hip, young, shops-below-14th-street people MIGHT have a size 11 foot. I am continually amazed by the number of other women I meet who are 10s and 11s and it just does no one any good if you adorable shoe places don't conform. I tried on shoes that were so small for their size that it was as if I had asked for a size 8. After being implicitly turned away from all stores selling clothing, I was so incredibly ready to part with my hard earned cash for things like this (but in something more like this color) or this or this. But, no, only midget sizes. Sigh. At least devoted partner will be happy - he'd have hated all of these shoes!

4. I want this belt. Leaving aside, for the moment, that since I own no belts, perhaps my first belt purchase should not be a 350 dollar magenta satin belt (this picture in no way does this belt justice - picture the color much much more awesome), can't you just see my in a black dress with this belt? And by "you" I do not include devoted partner whom, while we have never discussed it, I feel certain is not on Team Magenta Satin Belt.

Which leads me to 5. Perhaps shopping isn't such a good thing. After all, the more things I saw, the more things I wanted - for example a 1300 dollar motorcycle inspired navy blue leather jacket. I do not need this thing, nor should I, at the present moment, even consider such a purchase. Much to the designer's chagrin as he patronizingly told me that he could custom make me a jacket (seeing as my ample charms would amply not fit in the sizes available).

Our guests are at Woodbury Common as we speak and I wish them the best of luck in their bargain hunting, but I'm not that sad that they're on this expedition by themselves. My marginal propensity to consume was getting out of hand!