Wednesday, May 12, 2010

My Fetid Nest

I spent two days in essentially the same 3 square feet on the couch. I probably should have stayed there today. In short I am morally opposed to my own illnesses. I think of myself as a generally hardy person and any chink in that armor offends me greatly. Though come to think about it, I'm the only person I know missing a gall bladder - so that doesn't seem too healthy.

Nevertheless, between naps, I had a lot of time to myself that I couldn't use to, say, do anything that involved a lot of movement or exertion. So I was able to use my thinky organ to make lists of all the ways in which I am currently failing as a human being (sickness really does not agree with me).

Issue #1: Laundry. I make no secret of the fact that among all the household chores that exist, laundry is my least favorite. And I have no excuse these days that I need to schlep anywhere to do laundry; after all, I have an entire room devoted to laundry. And still, the laundry room is a tornado of both clean and dirty clothing that I just don't want to get near. I don't know what about this particular chore haunts me so, I only know that it's the combination or sorting, washing, drying, then folding, and finally putting away that has always struck me as a step too many (the dishwasher, on the other hand, has three steps: load, wash, put away - far more civilized in my opinion). It seems devoted partner and I share this loathing as his attempts have always skipped over the folding and putting away steps. But I'm currently missing a lot of clothing and I assume it's somewhere in the laundry room - so that should be taken care of sooner rather than later.

Issue #2: Not eating. I seem to be having some difficulty with this one as well. I ate brioche ends all day yesterday not really paying attention to how many actual slices of brioche the ends may have made up. Devoted partner is making great strides (though I think he has an unfair advantage of being stressed out all the time) in not eating, whereas I am making very very tiny strides. There is no good reason I should be ten pounds heavier this year at this time than I was last year. None whatsoever.

Issue #3: Life planning. Yeah, not making a lot of progress on this one. I've attempted to identify things I'm passionate about, and travel and leisure pretty much take the cake each time. Perhaps I'm going about this wrong. Perhaps when I hear the word 'passionate' I take it too seriously. I sort of hear it as 'consuming passion' as opposed to, perhaps, 'dude, this is ok.' So now I will have to expand my list to things I consider ok. But that list needs to be cross-referenced with the 'profitable' list and those twains meet ever so infrequently.

Issue #4: Family planning. Is it ok that I'm now 33 and still eons away from even weighing in on this subject? "Oh, you're never really ready," is what all you people who already did it say, but I would wager that most of you went off birth control which is readier than I am or foresee myself to be. I feel like there are at least 127 more important things to talk about, but I'm not unaware of the fact that this one has an end date. Can we talk about it later?

Those are the biggies and they assaulted me for two straight days (which is probably why I got out of the house today even though I don't feel much better). Now I send them out into the world in the hopes that talking about them is kind of like doing them.

It is, right?


  1. Yeeps. I hope you're starting to feel better. A 27-year-old suggested to me last Friday that I should freeze my eggs. For goodness sake! At least, I enjoy doing laundry.

  2. Nah, my doctor (who is both older than 27 and has the benefit of having gone to medicine school) said N-O to frozen items - he says I have until at least 42; he also said there's not enough case data available to make decent statistical arguments about the viability of fetuspops.

  3. I think I should have spilled my drink on that girl. That's not polite bar conversation!