Thursday, November 12, 2009

Raining and Pouring

Pates de Fruit
Pates de fruit: pomegranate/pistachio, pb&j
Originally uploaded by reallyct

Apropos for the northeast today, no (she asks as she drips dry)? My confectionery ambitions have been tested by the economic downturn, but more by my seeming inability to concentrate on the job of selling what I make as opposed to simply making what I make.

I won't lie, the making is the easy part. For all my narcissism, I am horrid at self-promotion. Plugging my wares seems so, well, "look at me" which it's supposed to be. That's how you sell things. There's also a healthy dose of fear which says that if I try my hardest and fail, isn't that much worse than not trying and sort of failing? These are not personality traits I am proud of.

So I'd like to thank the friends and family who, in the past day, have tried to throw some business my way. Even if I get one of the jobs, it would be a huge deal after a year that has seen practically zero activity. I hope it might re-motivate me as well.

I have always like to think of myself as someone unafraid and resilient, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that there needs to be more experimental evidence to back that statement up. Sure, there have been examples of fearlessness and bounce back-ability, but I'm not sure there have been enough to make such a declarative, nor do I think those are two qualities that permit resting on one's laurels.

With so much else having changed for the better this year, I am going to renew my efforts to change my business for the better. I don't like the idea of failure, but I think the idea of coasting as a lifestyle choice is even more abhorrent to me.

End philosophical self-indulgence.

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